Weekly Update

83.9kg!! That's my weigh in result for today!! I know it's a day late and should have been yesterday, but I forgot all about it and had breakfast before weighing in yesterday.

It's good news for a stressful week.

I've been getting a bit bored of the foods I'm making, so I haven't properly made my lunches for work.

So Friday I bought a chicken wrap - carbs in the wrap (I ask them to halve it), the processed cheese and the mayo), Saturday my bf cooked: sausages baked with curry paste and mashed potato. I got him to swap the mashed potato for mashed cauliflower. Carbs in the sausages. Monday I had no lunch at all to take to work - I went to the cafe at work and the options were a variety of sandwiches, bagels, sweet slices, etc. I was shocked. I'm actually pretty confident that I can find a low-ish carb option anywhere. I settled on a slice of spinach frittata, knowing it's likely they would have mixed flour in. Once I ate it, I found it had chunks of potato in it as well. :( I picked a few of them out but couldn't pick them all out - they were small and I would have been left hungry without lunch.

That aside, I was talking with the bf on the weekend about which image to put on my fb event. I thought I should put a pic of myself in the background (make it more personal). I took my current profile pic and was working on it, I asked my bf for my opinion. He said (as tactfully as he could) that he's never really liked that pic of me. I asked why, I thought it looked fine. He just said he doesn't think it's the best one of me. We started going through other pics of me to find one that would be better, and all the ones he picked out were 5 years old when I was at my 63kg goal weight. Then he added an off-hand comment that when he had a couple of overseas friends over (that I didn't actually meet because they were only here a couple of days and I was working) he showed them those photos so they knew what I looked like. The 5 year old ones. :(

I haven't been eating properly yesterday or the day before.

Only yesterday evening when my stomach was growling, did I put the two together. I think I'm not eating properly (which means skipping meals) because of those comments.....

Signs of being back on track

So this morning's weigh in was much more positive than last week's - I came in at 84.5kgs this morning. Yay!

I also had two BMs yesterday so I think that was helpful. As was the coconut cream that caused it :)

In terms of regaining my focus, I haven't done so well with that. I'm really trying to get my head into gear and that 'determined' feeling, but I guess that's a work in progress. So in the meantime I'm just making sure I eat on track. That's it. Each day I'm just making sure the meals I make are lc, and I keep away from processed and sugary foods. I don't feel like I have any kind of inner-strength right now, so really it's more of a practical feeling rather than an emotional one.

I'm going to stay on track. :)

Not great news

Well I haven't had an outstanding week since last update.

I was feeling nice and thin, getting lots of comments from people (which I'll mention more in a minute) so I weighed in early on Tuesday morning - 84.9kgs. Then official weigh in day, Wednesday - 85.4kgs. I highly doubt I gained half a kilo in a day. So I pushed it to Thursday to get my official weigh in for this week - 85.1kgs.

I have to stick with that one, so this week's official weigh in is 85.1kgs. That means I haven't lost any weight this week.

If my clothes were fitting looser, I would at least take solice in the idea that maybe I'm gaining weight and losing fat, and ultimately getting smaller. But that's not the case. I'm having to undo my work pants when I'm heading home at the end of the day.

Two factors that may help me get to the bottom of this mystery - I'm not keeping up with drinking two 1.5L of water during the day. I've moved offices which is further away from the filtered water tap and I'm really just being lazy not walking the extra distance to refill my bottle throughout the day. I have no good excuse for that. I am more than capable of walking further.

The other thing that might be playing a factor is I noticed twice this week after I ate a serving of chicken and prawn curry, I'm feeling bloated and have some pelvic pressure (a bit like 'TOM'). I don't know if that might be an issue. It might also be the Labrada drinks I have, but I hope not. I don't have them on the weekends or on my days off, which I've had a few of lately. No idea, but I hope not. I couldn't do a substantial breakfast without them ;)

I was at the gym on Thursday and my trainer noticed my weight loss, commented on it. She was very excited and asked if she could do my measurements on Friday. She knows I'm not huge on them, but she really wanted to get a good idea of how far I'd come. And she gets really happy when her clients are improved progress. I said that's fine, and we did them yesterday. Compared to the last time we did them - Dec 2010 - I have lost about 12kgs and 25cms. So that's good. The weight came in at 87kgs though, and my scales are in the 85kgs region. I understand the higher was taken at the end of the day whereas I take mine first thing in the morning. It's just not something that will improve the mood.

So I went out to dinner with friends last night, my options were several types of pastas, gnochi, parmas or crumbed stuff. I went with the best option I could find - piece of fish on a "cornflour zucchini fritter". I ate the lot, it was good. I was on a sugar high all night though lol.

Oh I forgot to mention I went out drinking on Saturday night - whiskey with pepsi max. Had too much, paid for it on Sunday. Didn't give in to munchies or anything. I was thinking on Sunday about food - you know, I am proud to say that I wasn't interested in any high carb foods. I seriously seriously want to lose this weight.

So that was last week. This week I'm losing a bit of determination. Instead of focusing on the 5.1kgs to the next minigoal, I've been thinking "gee, I have another 20kgs to go!".... I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all.

...

Mixed Week

OK so it's been a very stressful week. Almost every aspect of my life is affected by stressed and I spent yesterday in tears. Not over any one thing, just everything. The straw that broke the camel's back is my car breaking down. By itself, not a tear-worthy event. On top of everything, very fitting.

I weighed in yesterday morning and had my first GAIN. I came in at 85.6kgs. I calibrated my scales the other day though, so it's possible they were under-reporting. Not sure. Who knows. Whatever.

So I had a BM last night (well overdue) and weighed in this morning, got a nice figure of 85.1kgs. So that's a nice half-kilo BM (TMI, I know!!)

So I'm back to being pretty happy. Everything else sucks, but keeping my eating in check and the weight loss coming is keeping my mind strong. I think that's a really big achievement! From someone who usually throws their hands up in the air and decideds that 'it's just not the right time to be trying to lose weight', I'm so absolutely determined to get down to 63kgs that I know I would actually be ADDING stress to my life if I threw in the towel, rather than making myself feel better.

To help with the cravings I've had this week due to TOM, I've been having SF jelly with heavy cream. Yum!

Yep, the whoosh is confirmed

I am down another 700g this week. I'm super super happy with this progress! I came in at 85.5kgs this week.

I'm even happier because I had A BUNCH OF PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH.

Let's start with Friday - I completely forgot to pack my lunch for work. So I went to the charcoal chicken and ordered a chicken wrap. It's a quarter of chicken off the bone (I asked to keep the skin but no stuffing thanks), lettuce, tomato, processed cheese and mayo, all wrapped in flat bread. I also asked for them to separate the two layers of the flat bread, and I only ate one layer. Not perfect, but ok.

Then later Friday I realised it's so close to my birthday that I seriously have to send out invitations. But where do I tell people it's being held? It's off to the Entertainment Book so I can try out places quick smart! I tried out a nice pub on Saturday, but going at 3pm meant we only had a restricted menu to choose from. And none of the options were wheat-free! I was surprised. Usually there's a caesar in there somewhere. So, I had tempure battered fish with salad (left the chips on the plate). I picked off most of the batter, maybe about 2/3 and ate the rest. It was quite nice, but that's high carbs two days in a row. And we haven't even got onto Sunday yet!

So on Sunday I ask if my rellies want to go out (to try out another place for my bday of course) for a quick meal at a local restaurant. But they were restricted in food too, and we went at 5.30pm! So anyway, they only had coffee and cake. Seriously. That's it. They did give us a small thing of mixed stuff - some nuts with soy sticks, sultanas and whatever else. So out of the four of us, I only ordered a pot of tea. Then the pushing came. "Here, have some of my sticky date pudding. Go on.." No! "Look I can't eat this, so you eat it" No! Oh, what is it? Berry compote with heavy cream. Hmmm ok. I'll have some. So berry compote (three spoons which gave me a sugar high) with heavy cream, and I must have picked out every single peanut from the bowl of mix they gave us.

Then the evening, I already had a pre-planned trip to another restaurant with the parents. Little did I know the only options were Tapas and Paela. What is wrong with this? Well besides the fact that paela is a bit like a Spanish risotto, the problem with tapas is it's supposed to be shared. So I might order one that is fine for me to eat, the others ordered crumbed cheesy zucchini flowers and meatballs. I wasn't able to order more than one - garlic prawns with a lovely sauce that I'm sure was thickened with cornstarch. And then I spent the rest of the evening subtley trying to pick all the meat bits out of the paela. And that's hard on the others (we shared the paela) because it's like I'm taking all the good bits FROM them.

This was the hardest weeekend I think I've ever had. One of the things I like about eating this way is I usually find eating out super easy!! But not this time.

I was so worried about it, I weighed in on Monday morning. When the number was down by a few hundred grams (can't remember exactly - I'm not a morning person) my mind was put to rest. But I've still eaten super clean since Sunday.

Whoosh?

Well after quite a few weeks with less-than-fantastic results, this morning I came in at 86.2kgs! That's a whole kilo down! Sooooo very happy!!

On the topic from last post, I'm still receiving comments on my weight loss. Two today, and two yesterday, alone. What do you say to that? Some people have been discreet, others yell "HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?" across the corridors at work. Seriously, how do I react to that? Have a lengthy conversation yelling back across the corridor?

And the other issue... it may just be me but I honestly feel that discussing weight loss is the same as discussing a boob job. Ie. only with close friends and/or immediate family. That's it. It's not open for discussion with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Is that strange? Why do so many people seem to see this issue different to me?

And then the THIRD thing (hehehehe) is that I don't look like I have lost any weight! I can see my tummy isn't sticking out quite so much, but that's it. And the baggy uniform we wear at work should cover that up. So what are people noticing?????

And back to happier topics, the scale is moving the way I want it to :) I cheated a bit and had an early weigh-in yesterday morning... and I came in 400g higher than this morning! The change I made in response was I didn't have a Labrada drink yesterday at all. Not one. It was seriously hard - it's a great meal to have on the go when you're as busy as I am, and it satisfies any sweet cravings - but I did it. I don't know if that's the reason my weight was good this morning. Oh the other thing I have changed is I've seriously cut down my tomato consumption this week. I think it may have been getting a bit high. Can you say 'bolognese sauce with cheese'? I can... MmmMmmmMmmm ;)

Hmmm disappointing

I must say, I've been getting lots of comments from people about my weight loss recently. And each time I don't know what to say!

I'm sure everyone is just trying to be nice and thinks they're saying something complimentary, but it still strikes me as a really personal topic. I mean, isn't it like asking if someone has had a boob job?

Anyway, I've been lying and saying that I haven't noticed any weigh loss and my clothes fit the same. But thanking them for their comment all the same.

Of course in actual fact, I'm weighing in every week and I'm wearing a size down in my work uniform shirt. Wish I owned a size down in the pants, because every time I put something heavy in the pockets, they start to slip down.

So anyway, weigh in results.

So after spending a week listening to people commenting on my weight loss, and feeling nice and thin, I weighed in... I'm down 100g.

OK so it's not a gain, so that's good. But I must admit I was expecting something slightly more exciting. I was actually hoping for a whole kilo this time! ... but it wasn't to be.

I can't put the small loss down to anything specific either. I've been eating and drinking just fine. On Tuesday night I had to eat out because of too many appointments to get to, so I bought a lamb kebab and I ate around the bread. That should be fine, right? Unless they put something shifty in the garlic sauce.